ACT IV SCENE I & II

I really dislike Hamlet. Granted, he’s the character that gets all the best lines, and seems to be the only one who understands what’s really going on in this play, but to be quite frank, I really, truly, and sincerely dislike this boy’s guts.

I call him a boy because although he’s one smart butt, he’s not very wise. Sure he’s a keen observer and a profound thinker, but no wise man would even consider revenge – “an eye for an eye” – to solve his problems. Then again, I suppose I should be considering the era Hamlet is living in, as well as the fact that he’s a Shakespeare character, and all Shakespeare characters tend to be drama queens in tights. (Sorry to say, though I do love Shakespeare’s writing style, as I mentioned in the last entry.)

It’s not really the revenge bit that irks me the most though, as it’s an understandably vital part to the story – if Hammy didn’t want any revenge, the story would have ended a long time ago, unless Claudy was stupid enough to plot HamHam’s death anyway. It’s more like his snobbish attitude, though I guess that also has its understandable roots since he feels betrayed by everyone around him.

Still, what a jerk. Giving never ending directions to the actors in Act III scene ii, as if they didn’t know how to do their own job. Dropping sexual comments on Ophelia like he didn’t just tell her off a couple of scenes before. (I honestly don’t see how people could possibly anticipate this couple when Ophelia obviously deserves MUCH BETTER.) Cutting down his mother and pretty much telling her that she’s filth, as if he’s someone who’s oh so pure but just happens to have vengeful thoughts of killing his uncle. Calling his friends sponges in Act IV scene ii, and then calling them stupid for not understanding him (“A knavish speech sleeps in a foolish ear.” 23-24 Ha. Knavish?). Well of COURSE they wouldn’t understand you, they don’t even get where you’re coming from you snot!

And he does that pretty often: saying something poetic and profound but never bothering to clarify what he means for his intended audience because he figures they’d be too foolish to understand. Honestly, in my opinion, it’s the fools who make speeches for only themselves to enjoy. Yes, I realize that it’s for the purpose of dramatic irony that Shakespeare makes Hamlet so overly annoying with these moments where he’s like, “I’m just gonna say something pretty to confuse you and then belittle you for not understanding its prettiness,” but come on. Wouldn’t you be annoyed too if you had a friend who constantly did that?

“*Makes some pretty, poetic analogy/metaphor*”
“…What?”
“Oh, nothing. You wouldn’t understand~ *looks away*.”

I don’t know about you but that would make me just… do something violent. (I kid. Or rather, I’m just ranting.)

I think another big reason why I’m really disliking this guy right now is because he totally killed off my favorite character, Polonius (Polony/Poly-oly!), and was kind of like “…Whoops…” after he did the misdeed. Wow, so he’s a drama queen when lecturing his mom about her flaws, but not so much when it comes to his own. The little booger.

Just to go a bit off track, since this is a post mainly dedicated to my immense dislike (notice that I never use the word hate?) of Hamlet, I just wanted to talk a bit about Polony for a moment. Or rather, our class’ general opinion of him.Why? Seriously, I don’t understand why people would dislike Poly-oly. I’ve heard a couple of comments that deem him nosy. Even Hamlet insults him (after he’s dead. Way to show remorse for your actions, punk.), calling him a “wretched, rash, intruding fool…” (Act III scene iv. lines 38). Yet I don’t understand why.

Exactly what part of him is so annoyingly “intruding”/nosy? The part where he’s just trying to be a father in giving his daughter some advice? When he speaks to Claudius about the Hamlet x Ophelia affair because he suspects that it’s the reason behind Hamlet’s distress? Well, what else was he supposed to do? He was worried about his daughter, maybe Hamlet (though he shouldn’t be because Hammy is a complete jerk whenever he speaks with him), and how this relationship and Hamlet’s madness could affect the kingdom! He was simply staying loyal to his duty as a father and a king’s councilor. And how about the fact that Polony was spying on Gertrude’s and Hamlet’s conversation? Polony is a paranoid person, but also a very loyal one. It makes sense that he would spy on his king’s behalf – Claudius even ordered him to!

If the reason behind the majority’s dislike for Polonius is simply his know-it-all personality, I guess I can’t really defend him in that area. Polony and Hammy were both know-it-alls in their own ways. Except I found Polony’s conceited attitude to be a bit more endearing than Hamlet’s. (I think it was the sexual comments he made towards Ophelia that his snobbiness really started to bug me. If I were that girl, I would’ve kicked him in the face. But then again, if I were Ophelia, I’d probably get into trouble for acting violent against a prince. Even if he’s one of the most unprincely princes ever.)

Anyways, back to Hamlet, the reason why I don’t completely hate Hamlet is a very interesting character read about. Sure, he may make my blood boil, but he also makes me momentarily forget how much I really don’t like him whenever he says lines of gold.

His line in Act IV scene ii, when he responds to Rozencrantz’s inquiry of where poor Polony’s dead body is left me a bit torn between two opposite reactions: “Compounded [the dead body] with dust, whereto ’tis kin.” (6) This, as it is explained in the side note, is a reference to the book of Genesis in the bible – “for dust thou art, and unto dust though shall return.” As soon as I read this (along with the side note, since it took me a minute or two to register what he meant by line 6), I, for some reason, fell in love with his twisted way of thinking. The love was short-lived, however, when in the very next second, I snapped immediately, thinking that Hamlet had some nerve to think he had the right to just bury Polonius someplace random and not tell anybody. Not only that, but the fact that he makes such a reference makes it seem like he’s assigning himself the position of God by returning Polony to the dust himself.  (If that makes any sense…)

I wouldn’t surprised, actually, if Hamlet really did consider himself a god. He seems to have a lot of confidence in his judgment, always bossing people around (actors), condemning sinners (Queen Gertrude), and even deciding the rules of death and the afterlife. Not only does he decide all by himself that it’s okay to bury Polony without telling anyone because he’s returning him to the dust, he also mandates that killing King Claudius in the midst of prayer would send him to heaven, while killing him in the midst of committing a sin would send him to hell, where, according to Hamlet, he belongs.

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